...just because i fear to ever lose this link again. :3 :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=c78lez8P0gc

would listen to it the whole day if i had time. again and again and again.


time. that's an unreachable term in these days.
but maybe it's just point of view. if i had time, it would take me the alibis away...to do what i should do. what i so much want to do. ...what i yet somehow feel unable to do. craven..........such a beautiful word for such a condemnable characteristic.
guess i need to escape from my world of thoughts into reality again.
...so damn tired. even feelin' high somehow.......no thought, no decision is tangible. behind a veil of fatigue.......
makes reality seem so far away. ...even makes the imagination of fallin' deeply into sleep unwanted..
just cause it implicates the loss of this condition.

aaaaah that have to be the thoughts of an addicted one :D


addiction to...?

Desperate Cry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJUdDpRYh6o
desperate cry. desperate cry. Endless empty maze. Despair, distress and silence. Mute souls end in silence! Empty promises of hope.... and all we hear: desperate cry! Cry!

damn things goin' on. damn cruel silence. just silence. words of silence. cruel words of silence.
.............WHY????

the hopes were high. the dreams endless. ...the true, right sense of moment irrevocable.
...just to conceive it just was a minuscule moment in time? a fadin' moment in time. no, no. that can't be it........that can't be over.......not yet, not yet. it can't be over now..............because..............because...

because i feel it.

always had trusted my feelings concerning that. and i always had been right. right in sense, right in actions, right with words............words tellin' the truth. truth, pureness, depth.......always had provoked the best. the best in moment...the best in u.
...and nothin' more i need. and nothin' less. give me the best of u and i'll give u the best of me. isn't that enough? still not enough?
...i'm sure it would be.

fight! can't u hear my desperate cry. fight. fight for the dream, the one and only, the one dream of us all. the huge, almighty, eternal achin' dream...
a simple dream.
i am willin' to fight. i so strongly am. ......but how could i ever win, alone against everythin'?

Hey you, dont help them to bury the light
Don't give in without a fight.

Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone?
Open your heart, I'm coming home.

But it was only fantasy.
The wall was too high,
As you can see.
No matter how he tried,
He could not break free.
And the worms ate into his brain.

Hey you, don't tell me there's no hope at all
Together we stand, divided we fall.


...there's the possibility to win....but it's up to u're decision, to u're choice.
...hadn't u just chosen?
i can't fight alone.












Break the silence!
Break the chains.
Break u're jail...

and let me in.

negatively unsure

.
.
.
.
Hope changed into Ivy. Good changed into bad. ...and nothin' changed into somethin'.
positively unsure? negatively unsure? ...not even sure 'bout that.
#
always thinkin' of what did not happen. so i'm afraid to forget what has happened. damn.
#
really should be positively unsure. ...but i'm not.
'd like to have some huge, brutal tempest right now. but not while sittin' safe behind windows with a cup of hot tea and some nice music...not today. today i'd like to stand just within. while gettin' scared and freed at the same time...

.
'so far'. great song. and 'strato demon' also is. ...yeah, that's my pata papa xD yip yip. <3
.
had a great rehearsal today. damn, that somehow really gives u the feelin' of doin' the right thing! [:

...don't think i'm in a fuckin loquacious mood right now^^ that may explain those...staccato sentences. C: but i just had to write right now...even it's not too understandable for anyone. ...Not even for myself. But i think the wonderful thing about writing is that, even if it's crap like that, it helps u understand u'reself a little bit more....even if u don't like what u experience.
yay. :3

W:O:A

___________________________

back. with a never-ending fatigue, a new addiction to beer, an even stronger one to cigarettes, and a bunch of great memories... But not even a morning beer or photos are able to bring the time back. Nor do memories...not even the greatest ones.
_____________


Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. nothin' to do than wait. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. unconsciousness. just have to let it happen... Please. Please. Please. However it may turn out. Is there a more horrible feeling? Please...Don't let me wait too long.
______________

thereon, a beer. C:

-------------------

p.s. I got the sight! Ha! :3

south of heaven

too less is said. too less is thought. gotta talk more. gotta think more. gotta blow up my fuckin mind.
...
sick.
...
much to do within the next years.
...
searchin for a epic noun of 'vanishing'. Even in such a pure, deep, ruthless precise language there seems to be nothing like that. Maybe for the first time it deserted me C:


latest masterpiece: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Po9P6vsXWLk
gooood could cry my fuckin guts out, even it's not sad. Could burst into laughter, but it's not funny. Really dunno what to do...it's just, as nearly every time u here them, mind-blowing.
and it's on Hope Vol.2 heh :3
...

photoshoot with latest mask.
waaah my hand moults :S haha that's disgusting. just noticed xD



.........
yeah. what to say? maybe it does not fit, neither here nor now. But when, where else? hm. difficult times one could say. I think it's horrible in some way that huge cruel things like now in Japan can happen, and if u walk on the street u still gotta hear the same shit as every day. Life goes on too normally for us. That's sad somehow. fuckin sad.
.............

oh oh oooh i'm in a crucially great fuckin mood right now. wooooooow and i don't really dunno why. :DDD
ah fuckin crazy, u could say^^
having to do my skilled work since weeks....oh i'm too late as always, and i will do nothing more the next 2 weeks but i just don't give a shit about it, at least in this second!! C:
So weird, it's just as if everything seems possible. haaaaaha that sounds so lame and bathetic^^^^^ but it's not, i can tell!! It's like....perhaps your getting just a tiny, quick insight in your next weeks and month and just are able to see the good things, the great, lustful things :3
awww nothing better than this.

well, maybe some things, which may be little reasons for this mood:
->got tickets for CHILDREN OF BODOM in april. there's just nothing more to say about this...:3
->Wacken tickets arrived...either anything to add.
->weekend's near.
->irresistible lust for playin the guitar a while...no matter that i haven't got the time^^
->the cognition that i won't have to do this kind of sports forever...
yeah and a lot of things more that i'm too lazy to list up right now xDDD

goodbye maaan <3